cheapskates

there's a fine line between being frugal and being a cheapskate. growing up in a chinese household, i learned early on about the value of saving and the merits of bargain hunting; in essence, the best way to get the most bang for your buck. i was taught the merits of not selecting name brand toilet paper, clipping coupons, and always counting my change. if i couldn't finish dinner (which was often), i was made to sit at the dinner table until i finished... or until i could surreptitiously feed my younger brother (who was fondly called, "the trash can") my leftovers. my parents didn't like to waste. of course, i was a little luckier than most in that being frugal was not really a necessity - spending less and saving more was simply my family's way of money management.

flash forward to this day, and you'll find that my parents are still thrifty. this isn't to say they are total jews; my parents would choose quality over price any day. they know where to penny pinch and when financially-heavy burdens are really masked investments. hence, the emphasis on quality food, technology, health care, and education - none of which come cheap.

now on the other hand, i know some people who are total cheapskates. i understand and employ the practice of finding deals and bargains, but i am not the type to argue over being overcharged two cents at the supermarket. i am also not the kind that thinks being indebted to others is okay. whether it is allowing a credit card balance to accumulate, or repaying a friend who spotted me when i absent-mindedly left my wallet at home... if i owe somebody money, i will repay him. and in a timely manner, too. what i detest is when people are constantly given favors, whether monetary or not, and they take it for granted. while most people i know don't keep a conscious headcount of all favors rendered, purposely turning a blind eye to the inequality of certain situations is appalling. i understand being forgetful, but a consistently bad memory eventually equates to taking advantage of your friends. friendship is a two way street - a parasitic relationship just doesn't work. these are the people i consider cheapskates. giving less tip because of bad service? okay. buying generic brand ibuprofen? okay. paying for you and your friend's dollar-menu chicken sandwich craving? okay. expecting things with no intent of giving back (or even showing any appreciation for your friends' kindnesses)? ...NOT okay.