fatty fat fat

if certain biological indicators did not prove otherwise, i would be inclined to think i was pregnant. it's been hard finding an explanation for my insatiable food cravings. one minute, a mcdonald's chicken sandwich. the next, donut holes from dunkin' donuts. today i stood in the cookie aisle at wal-mart and nearly cried while my conscience put up a hard-won fight against my stomach and all 28 sweet teeth. i'm sure any mother watching me put down that bag of soft-baked snickerdoodles would feel compelled to give me a hug. with an appetite like mine, it is no wonder that i am currently the fattest i've been my entire life.