dinner with some college friends reinforced the disquieting notion that we are getting old. talk of impending engagements, first homes, babies, and moving up the corporate ladder make me feel immature; the struggle to relate to my peers only to realize i am so far behind in life makes me feel that i have aged with nothing to show. though school ought to be a legitimate excuse for this belated entry into the "real" world, i cannot help but feel i have squandered my time pursuing formal education when i could have spent it cultivating a successful career.
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i suppose my professional life takes precedence on my list of priorities. though i chose to continue my education, it was with the expectation that the years of schooling would pay off in the end. yes, it is possible to make lots of money without having to add an MD, JD, or MBA after your name, but these titles at least provide the security of almost always meeting a minimum income threshold. by pursuing a business degree, i know that at least i will never go hungry.... but, i feel that i have sold part of my soul; while i find it interesting, i feel shallow dabbling in a world where generating profit is the primary concern. i firmly believe that there are more important things in the world - love, relationships, charity, peace - but i am too scared of not being able to indulge my materialism to put more emphasis on these pursuits. i feel ashamed that money is such a large focus in my life. i know that being happy in both my professional and personal lives is not mutually exclusive, but until i find a way to reconcile the two, i feel that i have to concentrate on my career (and making money) in lieu of consummating my soul.
1 comment:
when you do end up making the big bucks...don't forget about the little people.
"i know that at least i will never go hungry...." and THAT, my friend is the most important thing to remember. for food, is the key to happiness! :)
don't you just love reunions.
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